Saturday, July 9, 2011

Grand Canyon - 2 views

Jimmy's View:

So we finally made our way to the Grand Canyon after a few pit stops at some of the casinos on the way. Our drive to the Grand Canyon wasn’t all that bad, I think it was only a few hours. On the way to the Grand Canyon we made a stop at some of the local Native American shops along the highway. I was looking for some cool t-shirts but they didn’t have anything that was the least bit interesting. While in route to the Grand Canyon we did manage to see the world’s largest petrified tree and all I can say was that was a waste of time. We did almost stop at some meteor crater but our blog fans took too long to respond to our facebook status so we moved on.

After all that non-sense we finally get to the Grand Canyon (just an fyi it cost 25 bucks to see it). The Grand Canyon is actually really amazing and it would be hard to knock it any way. We got some cool pictures and some video for you guys. If you ever get the chance to go see the Grand Canyon you should definitely go check it out.

Dennis' View:

We departed the Super 8 and headed towards the Grand Canyon, which is the biggest piece of shit I ever saw. First off, they charge you $25 bucks just get into the park and they force you to get a 7-day pass. They could be nice and offer a 1-day 24-hour pass for a few bucks, which you go there to stare a frickin’ hole in the ground, to see as Jimmy put it “something that god created.” Then you get inside and have to drive like 5 miles to get to a parking lot and then walk more just to get the edge of nothing. If you like lots of open space and air, then you will love the Grand Canyon. No animals, no bears, yaks, jaguars, wolves, alligators, nothing but one faggy bluebird that we saw for like 2 seconds. This gash in the ground has been there forever and these bitches have been raking in cash for forever and don’t even have the decency to put up a guard rail or stock the place with a few wild badgers. What they do have are signs telling you that ‘many people die if they get too close to the edge’ and ‘not feed the animals’, but there are no animals and then they try to rip you off more with a lame book store, and they ask for donations on top of it!

This is the best way to view the Canyon...

It was awful, windy, cold, rainy, and dark… in the damn desert. The country must really be in a recession because we were one of the few Americans there. Everyone spoke some Nordic language or German or Indian or Spanish. The Americans we did run across are doomed, families with annoying ass little kids, singing fruity songs and acting like little sissies. Maybe it’s a good thing the guard rails aren’t there… I was hoping they would get close to me so I could have nudged some of those little punks over the edge.

Anyway, we finally got out of that hell hole and found a sweet camping place down the road to rough it for another night. It’s rained the past 3 days but there is a fire ban in place until Monday, so we have to sit here, in the dark, like idiots, eating egg salad sandwiches that we got from ‘General Store’ and drink in the dark.

Quiet time was 10pm and almost all the jerks in Arizona went to bed. Luckily, we ran into some lady campers from LA who were down to hang out. At first, we weren’t sure if we’d go talk to them. I was a bit nervous and was wondering if we would be intruding on their girl’s night out. But then 5-drink Dennis showed up and walked right over to their tent without hesitation and asked if we could ‘get in’ on their hot game of charades. It was a true learning experience, as we learned that Jimmy is not only awful at driving stick, but also horrible at charades. Thank god I wasn’t on his team or else I probably would have smacked him. All in all, it was a fun night and a horrible morning since we had to sleep on rocks and these stupid, fat ravens get up at the ass crack of dawn and make some chirping noise, but only until everyone wakes up and then they leave. Arizona is the worst, I can’t wait to get the hell out of here… Headed to Vegas cause it makes the most sense geographically and cause it’s a sin to waste a Saturday in this shitty state.


  1. Everyday I'm shufflin'

  2. I love in your video of the grand canyon you knock it completely for a minute straight and JB sneaks a quote in at the end of 'it is nice out here though"

    Loving the blog, keep it up!
    (Allison is making Kanyon Kupcakes for you guys when you return)

  3. Is it $25 a head, or $25 for the car? I smell conspiracy.

  4. Grand Kanyon Kupcakes are probably really big cupcake sleeves that have nothing in them, but I still have to pay for anyway.

    $25 for the car, Bearizona was way better... and the Hoover Damn 50/50 - kick ass on the Nevada side and garbage on the 'zona side.